Everyone has told a white lie sometime or another. Some lies go unnoticed and some are discovered. Some lies ruin relationships and some make them last; either way the guilt of lying is stays with you forever. So how does it feel to actually live a lie? Any middle eastern girl can answer this question for you because just about every middle eastern girl lives a lie.
My friends and I sit outside of Panera Bread having some coffee and lunch. We joke about how each one of us girls has our own lie about what we told our parents in order to get out of the house. I am supposedly sitting at school studying for a final; well at least thats what my parents think. We talk about how lying about such insignificant things comes so easy to us as if it runs in our blood. To simply make up bull shit on the spot and look someone straight in the eye and not mean a word of what your saying is a terrible gift.
It was a gift given to me as well as every other middle eastern girl at birth because it is a gift of allowing us make it from day to day in my world. We do not lie because we want to; we lie because we have to. Something as simple as meeting up with some friends to have some coffee is not okay in the eyes of my parents. To them going out with friends defines me as a wild child therefore everything I do is unacceptable. The only thing "acceptable" to my parents is to go to school. Going to the movies, our out without my father or brother with me, or really doing anything without the permission or presence of a male makes me a wild girl. Now I understand that there are certain times and situations in which it would makes sense to have a male figure around such as going out late at night or being some where unsafe alone. But if something as simple as getting the mail or opening the door for the pizza guy can get me in trouble then I am content with being a wild child.
In order for me to life a normal life
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I’m no psychiatrist, but this post seems to highlight that you have a problem with the way you were raised; or your lack of social interaction with friends outside of school--more than telling lies. I say this because wanting to hang out with friends (even if your parent’s want you to say at home) doesn’t warrant as a reason where you have to tell a lie and far from going into survival mode. With so many horrific things happening to girls of all ages I think it is commendable that your parents care about your education, health, and welfare unlike so many other parents today. One more thing telling lies is universal, not just a Middle Eastern learned behavior. Look at the infidelity rate, most politicians, and probably the majority of the people you talk to on a day to day basis, we all lie. I personally think the problem is more gender based because I have a little sister that felt the same way you do. She was the only girl out of four kids; we got to do everything she didn’t get to do anything.
ReplyDeleteI like how you frame this discussion: it's really nicely set up and interactive because you made me think of all those times I lied to my mom and just did what I want when I was in my teens. I agree: most of us have been there, but probabaly not to this extreme.
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I know everyone has told a lie or two to their parents but it is sad to hear how trapped you are. It is like you are not aloud to live your life or have a personality or personal life outside your home. You are a very strong women.
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